Doubt- the Source of Faith!

1 Corinthians 2:9

But it is just as the Scriptures say,

“What God has planned for people who love him is more than eyes have seen or ears have heard. It has never even entered our minds!”

These past few days, I have been struggling with anxiety; fearful of what my future holds. I feel as though my emotions are on a never ending roller-coaster. Sitting here thinking about the various pieces of my life: friends, job, apartment, relationship status, city, appearance, finances, hobbies, struggles… I am overwhelmed by how often these things are altered and the effect each modification has had on my life. Recently I have found myself consumed by some of these topics, dwelling on the “what ifs” and “whens.” I am guilty of making my own plans and forming my own ideas of how things “should be.” I often become blinded by my desires and sometimes convince myself that my ideas are also His. This is exactly what the enemy wants me to believe, because when my life does not play out as I planned, I begin to doubt. 

Looking back on my life, not much has gone the way I originally planned. Instead trusting in God’s plan, I often find myself making adjustments or writing a new ending to my story. I am often too stubborn to admit that my way is not always best. 

Knowing that the Lord is in control and that his plan is better than mine, why do I still find myself struggling with fear & doubt? I was talking about this issue with one of my friends last night… I shared some of my concerns with her and admitted that I was struggling. I am so back and forth; I give it to Christ and ask that he would take away any doubts I have. God is faithful and for a day or two I am filled with peace, believing that He will take care of me. However, a few days later I am right back here in a pool of doubt. As I was sharing all this with her I realized, in order to have faith and in order to trust that God has a plan, there had to originally be some form of doubt (which is the opposite of faith). It is because of doubt that I am able to have faith! Rather than allowing a fear to lead to anxiety, what if I began to use any fearful thoughts as a reminder- God is faithful to those who love Him! 

Jesus tells us in Luke 9:23 that we must deny ourselves DAILY, pick up our cross and follow HIM!

Lamentations 3: 18-24 I tell myself, “I am finished! I can’t count on the Lord to do anything for me.” Just thinking of my troubles and my lonely wandering makes me miserable. That’s all I ever think about, and I am depressed. Then I remember something that fills me with hope. The Lord’s kindness never fails! If he had not been merciful, we would have been destroyed. The Lord can always be trusted to show mercy each morning. Deep in my heart I say The Lord is all I need; I can depend on him!”

The Power of Prayer

 “Prayer is where the action is." John Wesley

Why do we so often feel like our prayers go unanswered? The bible clearly tells us: “those who ask shall receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened.” 

1Peter 3:12-

For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers.

But in the mist of our loud and chaotic world, we feel far from the Lord. It often seems that the daily traffic drowns out our prayers. (Especially in New York City) Looking around, there are so many broken people crying for help; why would God be concerned with my “insignificant” requests when there are so many others to worry about? 

Growing up, did you ever play “ding dong dash?” I can remember playing this game with the neighborhood kids. This game was only fun for the first ring or two. On the third or fourth ring no one would answer the door because the home owner caught on to our childish game. This is often how we view prayer… we dock on the door but we do not truly intend on entering. We ask for blessings but we do not really expect them. Our prayers so often align with the “run away knocks,” but Jesus shouldn’t be expected to answer these kinds of requests. 

So many of us have become accustomed to “unanswered” prayers- or maybe the answer is wait or no- we begin praying with only a faint hope that God will act on our behalf. This is exactly what the enemy wants us to believe. Satan wants us to doubt prayer because he knows the true power it holds. 

1 John 5:14-15

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

God wants me to ask expectantly. If I truly believe in a God who created the world and in Jesus who died on a cross for me, then why do I doubt his blessings? I believe He was joyfully willing to take my place on the cross, so why is it so hard to believe He will answer my prayers? If I truly believe, why can’t I trust his answers, even when the answer is: WAIT? Doesn’t he know best? 

In January I joined a prayer focused bible study. These women are prayer warriors! I have been involved in several small groups, but this is the first group that has emphasized the importance of prayer. Every Monday evening we meet to discuss our weekly devotionals, the insight these ladies give leaves me with chills; but it wasn’t the commentary that drew me to these women, it was their prayers. At the end of our time together, we spend a solid 30 to 40 minutes just praying for one another. The first few weeks in this group, I was too shy to pray out loud. I thought my prayers did not sound as “holy” as theirs, I was not as strong as them. 

Even when I am alone, I find myself at a loss for words. I have all these emotions but I don’t know how to present them to the Lord. I can’t verbally speak my feelings all the time. Just last night I was speaking to a friend and could not explain the emotions I had, but I was painfully down about a few circumstances. Just like my friend understood without my words, the Holy Spirit knows exactly how we feel. 

Romans 8:26-27

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

 

You don’t have to have all the right words, or sound like a biblical scholar… God just wants you to sit still and be in his presence. He knows your heart and he knows what you are going through. No matter what you are upset about, your feelings are not insignificant! 

Luke 11:9-10

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?  Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”

Today, I am going to trust in the Lord. I know he has heard my prayers and He is working on my behalf because I am his daughter. He loves me so much and He wants what is best for me. Even if I have to wait, I know he wants to bless me with more than I can imagine!