True Love Runs: Living the Single-life!

This week I was asked to speak on 1 Peter 3. Since the majority of this passage focus on marriage, I struggled, as a single, in preparing a lesson for group of singles. While putting my thoughts together, I decided to go in a different direction with this week’s lesson and focus on the gift of singleness.

A. WHY WOULD ANYONE BE SINGLE or WANT TO BE SINGLE...? Who is Single?

1. Some may be single by circumstance

a. Women who have never been asked to marry, or Men who have never found a woman that they want to marry.

b. Men who have not yet found a woman to accept their proposal

c. Some are divorced, for a variety of reasons- perhaps through no fault of their own

d. Some are widowed

e. Some of us are in circumstances that do not allow us to be married

Many individuals, who are single due their circumstance, live in waiting. I think this is partly because of the culture we live in (especially in the church). Some people may believe that we/they are less as a single person than those who are married or part of their own family.

When people get engaged or have a new baby, we shower them with gifts. (This is not a bad thing, but it can paint a picture that you are rewarded when you reach this point of your life.) Many of us single folks live off hand-me-down furniture and household items and so just by our surroundings we could feel unfulfilled.

Or maybe you struggle dealing with the perception that others may have:

I spoke to a few single individuals and collected a few statements that singles hear, some true and some false:

i. “When you are fully content in God, the He will bring you the one.” (FALSE)

This can’t possible be true, this would mean that all the married people have it figured out and that they have reached a point of contentment in Christ that the rest of us (single people) have not yet grasped. (False) When we listen to this statement, we start to believe we are not right with the Lord and we could even use our relationship status as a means to justify our status with God.

ii. I don’t know why you are still single? So weird- you are so cute/funny. (FALSE)

Is this supposed to make us feel better? Haha because when I hear this one I question- “Yah, what is wrong with me?”

iii. Don’t make marriage the end goal! Jesus is the goal! (TRUTH)

Your problems do not all magically go away when you are married…. Marriage is not the end goal. Jesus is the end goal, building relationships with others and drawing them closer to Christ is the goal!

2. Some may be single by choice

a. Prefer the single life on its own merits

b. Chosen to remain single for other reasons: freedom, no desire to settle down, want to focus on our career….

c. Paul tells us to use our singleness to advance the kingdom!

1) Jesus said some would be single for the sake of the kingdom – Matthew 19:11-12

But Jesus said, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.”

2) Paul considered his singleness a "gift from God" 1 Corinthians 7:7-8

Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others. I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.

3. Sometimes, circumstances make being single the best choice

a. 1 Corinthians 7:25

The Master did not give explicit direction regarding virgins, but as one much experienced in the mercy of the Master and loyal to him all the way, you can trust my counsel. Because of the current pressures on us from all sides, I think it would probably be best to stay just as you are. Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married. But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.

With so many possible reasons, we should be careful not to presume why anyone is single. Many view singleness as the pre-season leading up to the real season and no one really cares about the preseason games. But this is not a biblical view. Our relationship status does not define us or bring us more or less value.

I recently did a Beth Moore Study where I was asked: “ what are some things you want but do not have”- one thing I listed was a relationship/future marriage.

As the questions continued on it asked: “who has the thing you want and would you trade places with them?” I thought about this question for a very long time and the answer was No. Yes there are people who have the relationship I want on the outside, but I know those people still struggle with many of the same things I do. Their marriages/families did not make these struggles magically disappear. Actually, the additions through marriage/children many times have added more difficulties.

I realized that I am jealous of my fantasy!! (I am jealous of Cinderella)


B. WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS TO BEING SINGLE...?

Freedom from care and Freedom to Serve the Lord!

1 Corinthians 7:32-35I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.

There are opportunities to serve the Lord that may only be available while you are single:
1) Preaching in foreign countries
2) Doing more for others in the local congregation
3) Spending your time volunteering
4) Building friendships with believers and non-believers

So then, why are many of us in a hurry?
Why do we feel that it is a race to the finish line or maybe not a race but a “waiting” period?


I was listening to a Podcast from a pastor out in the woodlands the other day and he said, asked- you want to know the way to find a spouse? “RUN TOWARDS GOD!” You run towards God, You serve God and you don’t look behind you for someone else. As you run towards him you can glance EVERY NOW AND THEN to the left or the right and if there is someone running at your pace that you enjoy running with, then get married so you can encourage each other to run even faster! But no matter what, if you remain single or you get married, You don’t stop running!


I read a blog recently called : “I don’t wait anymore”

This blog was written by a woman in her 30s. She shared that she was no longer going to wear her true love waits ring. Before I read the whole story, I thought- wow how sad, why would she give in to the desires of this world now? Why give up. But once I read the blog I realized she was not giving up physically, she was simple going to run and no longer wait for someone. She finally realized that God wanted her to be who He made her to be (single or married). She didn’t need to wait for a man to serve the Lord! This is what she said: 

“When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life. The anger that we harbor builds a wall between us and Him. If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God’s love because we want our selfish desires met.”

My Sister and I wear the same "true love waits" ring and we now joke about making new ones that say "True love runs!"

C. DO WE TRUST GOD?

I think what this all boils down to is this: Do we really Trust God? Do we really trust God? Or do we fear a life of loneliness and unfilfillment? (we don’t have to even be talking about a relationship now, you can fear the lord wont provide something else you long for too) 

1 Peter 3:6- “like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.”
Story of Sarah: she longed for a child. (This was her fear)

· Even after God had promised her- she still tried to make it happen on her own- Abraham slept with their servant.

· But still God was faithful!

· Had Isaac at a VERY old age

· The Lord literally brought life from death- as technically her womb was dead.

· THEN God tells Moses to take Isaac as a sacrifice- we do not see Sarah put up a fight. I think this is because she trusted the Lord’s plan more than her own desires.

Many of us are like Sarah. The Lord has promised us that he will provide ALL our needs and that He is ALL we need to be satisfied. But we often allow our circumstance to create a fear that He is not going to be enough and we search for something else to satisfy our desires. This is the type of faith we are suppose to have- married or unmarried.

Recently someone shared a story about a gift their grandmother gave them each year for Christmas. One year this person can specifically remember wanting a Nintendo. After asking and asking, his parents gave him a Nintendo and of course it was the first gift he wanted to open. After he opened the gift He was so excited to go play he didn’t care to open the gift/card from his grandmother. Each year his grandmother would give him a US savings bond certificate. And each year his dad would collect these cards/US Savings bonds for him. He shared this with me:

“It takes someone with great wisdom to give us a gift knowing that we will not understand its value now or even be appreciative but one day it will fully appreciate and we will understand its value and then we will understand why. “
Today the Nintendo is somewhere in the trash- it has become obsolete. But the Savings bonds from his grandmother have helped him pay for college!

Singleness can be a gift that we just do not currently understand. Paul says it is good for you to be single. There is a reason- “to secure that which is appropriate.” To fit with your environment, to fit the context where you currently find yourself- Paul even says: stay single so that you are freer to purse ministry and the things of God. “Secure in you an undivided devotion to the Lord.”

Pursue Jesus. Run towards Jesus and if there is someone running next to you that you fall in love with, then get married, but marriage does not solve all your problems!


*He knows the well-deliberated plan for your life and how all things must fall into place for you to fulfill your destiny. So submit to God! *

Live in the World- NOT of the World

1 Peter 2:11-12

Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

In other versions he calls us- Aliens/Sojourners/pilgrims/immigrants/ strangers. **What do these all have in common?- They are all set apart**

Romans 1:1- Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God

Definitions of these groups-

Sojourn- to stay for a time in a place; live temporarily

Foreign- a person not native to or naturalized in the country, a person outside the community, an outsider

Pilgrim- a traveler or wanderer, especially in a foreign place

The Message:

Friends, this world is not your home, so don’t make yourselves cozy in it. Don’t indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they’ll be won over to God’s side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives.

Have you ever traveled to a foreign country where you didn’t know the language or the culture? Think about how you felt while you were there. If you have never been to a foreign country then maybe you have watched a college football game with a friend or group of friends who were devoted fans of a school you did not attend. I am sure you can think of a time when you felt out of place or that you did not belong. Capture that feeling, remember how you felt….. Is this how you feel throughout your daily life, as you go to work, the grocery store, out to dinner… As “foreigners” living in a sinful world this is how we should often feel.

Think about the TV shows you watch, the radio stations you listen to, the books you read, and the news you hear…. Are you shocked, offended, or ever confused? If we are honest, most of us would probably say no. We have become numb to the customs and acceptances of this world.

Peter pleads that we wake up and recognize that our citizenship is in Heaven, this world is to be a foreign land.

Friends, this world is not your home, so don’t make yourselves cozy in it.

Philippians 3:18-20- For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ!

1 John 2:15-17 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.  The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

The bible is clear- we cannot have a dual citizenship. We must choose one or the other. I think most of us would say that we want to be a citizen of Heaven, but if we are honest, have we given up our residency in this world? Many of us (me included) struggle to let go of our fleshly desires and thus, we have not fully forfeited our earthly citizenship.

2 Cor. 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:^[a] The old has gone, the new is here!

What does it look like to be a new creation? How do we know that the new has come? Peter tells us that as foreigners (new creations) we are to abstain from sinful desires (passions of the flesh). When we become a new creation, there is an internal battle in our mind and in our hearts. We are still human so we find ourselves with human desires and often we give in- leaving us with guilt. At times, I feel crazy, but this is what a new creation should feel like! This internal battle we fight is proof there something is different inside of us and that we are not like everyone else.

When we place our lives in Christ and live as sojourns, we allow the Holy Spirit to give us the strength to fight our internal battles. Nonbelievers do not have the Holy Spirit helping them, no wonder our world is so messed up… Even with the Holy Spirit, I struggle. I cannot imagine the mess my life would be without His power! But because I give my fleshly desires to Him, I am free from guilt and I do not have to give in.

I don’t have to do it; You don’t have to do it… DO what- whatever it is you are thinking about. Because the Holy Spirit has broken our chains and we are no longer bound to sin!

Galatians 5:1- It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

As Christians, we are free from the slavery of sin- but this freedom comes with a price: we must fight this internal battle of our flesh.

Do you remember the Emancipation Proclamation?

*The Emancipation Proclamation proclaimed freedom for slaves. However, even after this was passed, many slaves were unaware that they were free- their masters either hid the news or convinced them that it was a rumor- so thousands continue working as slaves - they were living as “freed slaves.”

Many of us (Christians) live in this world as “freed slaves.” We become consumed by our flesh and we listen to the lies of the enemy. We get so far deep in sin that this world becomes louder and louder and we can no longer hear or see the Lord offering freedom!

Romans 7:21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Often times we fall into these desires because we forget the definition of our title- sojourner: we are temporary visitors of this world.

Think of your favorite musician or band. Pretend you were best friends with this person or group. You are a regular attendee of their concerts. You see fans going nuts, trying suck every bit of excitement and joy out of this event, because they may never see them again. But you are best friends with____. So you do not fully share the enthusiasm- you don’t have to squeeze everything out of this event because you know that you are going back stage and that you will be hanging out with them tomorrow too!

As Christian’s we are not suppose to squeeze every ounce of satisfaction out of this world because, not only will the world let us down, but we know we are going back stage! (We are going to heaven) When we begin to think like this, we are not only free form bondage, but we are free to submit to others!

In what ways would we be better able to submit? I can think of a few:

1)      Time- If I just think back on this week alone, how much of my time was spent on self-serving things? (To be honest- much more time than serving other people) I wonder- why am I so concerned with making my life more comfortable when I know this is not my permanent residence, why don’t I use more of that self serving time to pour into others?

2)      Money- This is a hard one for me… Can I justify the way I spend? Most of the time the answer is NO. Nothing I buy for myself will last. It is not wrong to buy things, but I personally need to examine my motives for buying. Lately this has been an area God has pressed on my heart- The Lord has blessed me with a job and the resources to have more than my needs, how can I use these resources to share blessings with others?

3)      Influence- I bet most of you currently hold or have held some form of leadership role- at work, or in an organization, maybe even at church… but how do you use your authority to teach others or encourage others?

Tim Keller tells a story about a women who made a terrible mistake at work. Her mistake cost the company thousands of dollars. It was something she could have and probably should have been fired for. However; her boss decided he was going to take the fall for her. He had a high enough ranking that he would not be fired for this mistake. .. She asked why? He said: “I serve a God who did that for me! My God became powerless for my sake- he took the fault on my behalf… I want to show you what that is like.”

By living lives that portray the love of Christ, we are able to do two things:

1)      We can bring others to Christ. 1 Peter 2:12

2)      We silence foolish talk-1 Peter 2:15

Even if the lady in the story did not come to know Christ as her savior, she can no longer speak poorly of Christians because she will always remember this act of selflessness!

I think this is so encouraging! We shouldn’t be frustrated when we do not have hundreds of opportunities to verbally share our faith. This story confirms that how we treat and respect others is even more important. We are called to put our faith on display. When we live like an alien of the world, people will notice and they will ask!

1Peter 3:15- always be prepared to share the hope you have!

Think about your favorite song… do you have it in your head? What do you really like about this song? I would bet you really enjoy the beat …. Am I right? I would also bet that you began liking the song before you knew all the words?

Our lives need to have a beat that others like (our beat is our actions) and then they will begin listening to the words we speak!  

Move Forward & Stop Looking Back!

"Be bold and strong! Banish fear and doubt! For remember, the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Doubt is one of our greatest enemies. It not only limits our potential to move forward but also justifies our procrastination. Doubting decisions and failing to let go of the past may cause us to miss something Christ has put right in front of us.

Everyone has been doubtful or questioned the direction they are going, but Christ always offers a second chance. We are unable to start over (go back and change the past) but we can make today our starting point.

 “Grace is not just for salvation; it is for the daily mistakes of life. If you don’t have grace in your life, then you will be filled with regret! When you’re filled with regret, you get stuck in the past. And if you’re stuck in the past, you can’t make a fresh start.” –Rick Warren

So why do we stay connected to the past? There are several answers to this question, but personally I get stuck when I have regrets: “if only I would have said this, then this would/wouldn’t have happend… if only I would have done this, then I would/wouldn’t have gotten that…. What if I would have stayed- how would my life play out? Or would it even make a difference??” WHOOO I am exhausted just thinking of all the jobs, friendships, relationships, goals, opportunities may or may not have occurred!

Gen. 19:26- Caught between the world of her past and the world of her future.

The lord warns us to not be stuck in the middle. As Christian’s we are called to press forward no matter where we are or what we have done! In fact our past can be used to shape our future. It can be the foundation of our testimony.

God's law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God's wonderful grace became more abundant. Romans 5:20

I love thatverse! The more sin in my life only means there is more room for His GRACE! God can forgive anything no matter how big or how small. He can redirect your path- no matter how far off course you have gone. If you are His child, you cannot take a turn that hinders his plan for you! We forget: we are only the tools- God is the handy man. A tool cannot mess something up unless the craftsman instructs/guides it too…. Lucky for us- God is a PERFECT & FLAWLESS craft maker. When we get bent out of shape or a little dusty, He has promised to dust us off... we just have to allow him to do so!

“Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.” 2 Timothy 2:21

Stop asking Why God, and start asking What is next God?! “Your windshield is larger than the rear view mirror for a reason.” God wants us to look forward- not backwards!

Is that all there is?

Is that all there is, is that all there is, if that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing- let's break out the booze and have a ball, if that's all there is! ~ Peggy Lee


The Lyrics to Peggy Lee’s song speak about the cards life deals us. She is seeking something more to life. If this is all there is then why do we worry, why do we stress? If this is all there is then why not go on doing all that we please because what else are we living for?

Ecclesiastes 1:2- “Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”

In Ecclesiastes, Solomon writes about the meaning and purpose of life. He determines that this life is meaningless. As you read through the book we see the various outlets in which we search for fulfillment, purpose, or meaning.

·      Wisdom- (“worldly wisdom”)

Ecclesiastes 1:18 For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.

1 Corinthians 3:19-20- for the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness”; and again, “The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.”

·      Pleasure-

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
    I refused my heart no pleasure.
 My heart took delight in all my labor,
    and this was the reward for all my toil. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
 and what I had toiled to achieve,
 everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
    nothing was gained under the sun.

·      Accomplishments-

Ecclesiastes 2:21 For a person may labor with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then they must leave all they own to another who has not toiled for it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune.

Ecclesiastes 5:15 Everyone comes naked from their mother’s womb, and as everyone comes, so they depart. They take nothing from their toil that they can carry in their hands.

“We weren't meant to be somebody--we were meant to know Somebody” – John Piper

Where do you find meaning? As I read through Ecclesiastes I thought really hard about the following questions: (how would you answer these)

1.) What thing(s) do I think about most throughout my day?

      2.) How satisfied am I with my current situation? Am I longing for more that what the Lord has given?

     3.) What can I do TODAY (and the days to follow) that will serve others? Am I spending majority of my time/finances/thoughts advancing myself?

     4.) Am I trapped in this “consumer culture?” Do I do more consumption or giving?

     5.) Am I devoting my time towards my passions? What are my passions?

     

     6.) Is Christ my ultimate reason for living?

Although Solomon’s words in Ecclesiastes may not be the most encouraging- they are true- This life is Meaningless because nothing of this world has meaning.

1 John 2:17- This world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

As we continue reading Ecclesiastes, chapter 5 verse 15 reminds us that we take nothing when we die, and that our legacy will soon be forgotten. However; In Christ Jesus- Our lives are full of meaning because our purpose is ETERNAL.

Philippians 1:12- Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel.

Wherever you are, whatever you are going through- if you are in Christ, then each season, all struggles, and every blessing serves to advance His kingdom!!!! WOW J

Matthew 20:28- Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

This Labor day- ask yourself those questions above. Think about the “work” or “activities” of your daily life. Do your efforts reflect Christ’s love? Are you using your efforts to advance His Kingdom or build up your own? I have been guilty of the later. I am human and will continue to battle the desires of my flesh- but this Labor Day I want to examine my life. I am pin pointing the areas where I find “worldly meaning” or hold on to for personal advancement. I choose to let go and ask Him to work through me- Without Him my wisdom, desires, and accomplishments will soon fade away! 

My Apology: Letting go of Pride

I need to make a confession that has been brought to my attention over the past few days- I struggle with pride. This battle is due to my lack of faith and it has caused some rifts in my relationships/friendships. Last week, I shared a personal story that some people possibly received the wrong way.

As I shared-last December, when I was without a job and very new to NY, I struggled with self esteem issues. I was extremely embarrassed to admit that I had failed and questioned what I was doing with my life. I alluded to not having many friends at the time- the truth is not that I was without friends, it is that because of my pride- I was not willing to openly share the truth (the embarrassment I felt) with others, especially since I was new and wanted these new people to like me. Due to my selfishness, I was not able to completely open up and deepen these new friendships. Thus, I felt very alone on the inside- I knew how to put on a face and make others believe I was just fine, but I was only harming myself by not sharing my true feelings with others. 

However; In December/January (during the peck of all the ciaos) I had just met an extremely welcoming group of people. Those friends (who later grew to be like family) loved and encouraged me through this dark period of my life. Struggling to see past my selfishness, I was not completely honest with them nor with the others we knew. This was due to my lack of faith, doubt, and here it is pride! Although I had only known these girls for a few short weeks, they would have welcomed my honesty and struggles with open arms- as true friends do!

As I admitted, I was not the same person during that time of my life. I viewed the Lord through my circumstances. While new to the city & jobless- I spent way too much time alone and I grew very bitter. What I wanted to share is this-Although there were people around me, deep down, I was very lonely and felt inferior because I was not working and could not see what I would ever amount to. Yes, it was only a matter of weeks, but to me it felt like a century- I failed to see how the Lord was working in my life; He had different plans than my own! I failed to recognize that He had provided me with people who would soon grow to be Lifelong friends!!

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 

I shared the significance Apostles & the women in my bible study have had in my life- The Lord opened my eyes through their prayers and forced me to examine my life…. But what I did not include was this: If it had not been for the people I knew from the beginning of my journey- some key people in my testimony- I would never have stuck around to make it past the dark part of my journey!

To everyone who I have offended- I want to apologize and thank you for welcoming and loving me without question. I want you to know is this: my heart has changed and I am not the same person as I was last winter. I no longer find my identity in this world, but in Christ alone!  I truly want my words/actions to reflect his love! I am human and I will mess up A LOT- but I pray that I never cause others to stumble due to something I have said or done.

Proverbs 17:17- A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.

EYES OF FAITH

The best stories are usually the ones filled with drama or conflict. We love watching or reading how others overcame personal battles; but when it comes to our own lives- we typically try to avoid conflict.

This past week I was asked to teach on the first two chapters of Ruth. I don’t think it is a coincidence that this story so closely aligns with my own personal journey. As I began to research the background of each character, I could see a little bit of myself in each of them. The story of Ruth is a story of Faith- we see that faith is choosing to follow God when we let go of our own desires and move forward without our own visions or agendas. Today I want to walk through what the Lord has revealed through this story and in my own personal life:

I.                    Ruth 1: 1-2

In the days when the judges ruled,there was a famine in the land. So a man from Bethlehem in Judah, together with his wife and two sons, went to live for a while in the country of Moab. The man’s name was Elimelek, his wife’s name was Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Kilion.

In the first two verses, the author sets the stage for our story. We are given 3 key details (3 strikes):

·         Strike 1: The story is set in the days when the judges were ruling- a very sinful time:

Judges 21:25- In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit.

·         Strike 2: There is a famine in Bethlehem- God’s chosen land, the land He promised to provide for.  (Ironically Bethlehem means- “House of Bread”)

Before moving to strike 3 let’s take a look at the character’s names:

The Father-Elimelek- “My God is King” and Naomi-“Pleasant” have two sons- whose names are Mahlon and Kilion. We see from the names they give their children that Elimelek and Naomi are not very positive, trusting, or hopeful people. Mahlon and Kilion actually mean- “sickly and dying.”

·         Strike 3: They went to live in MOAB!

There is no evidence from Scripture that God told Elimelek to leave the Promise Land and go the heathen land of Moab. No, God had promised the children of Israel that he would supply all their needs in the land of promise that he had given them.

Like most of us, Elimelek bailed when times got tough. He decided to take control and run from the Lord in order to fix his problems.

Moab-Why is this so bad that He is going somewhere to find food for his family? I did a little homework on this country and found that Moab is actually named after one of Lot’s sons. When Lot left Sodom & Gomorra, his two daughters decided to get him drunk & sleep with him- one of the baby’s was named Moab. (and this is how the country began)

Deut. 23:3- No Ammonite or Moabite or any of their descendants may enter the assembly of the Lord, not even in the tenth generation.    V.6- Do not seek a treaty of friendship with them as long as you live.

So by understanding the background we see how Elimelek is blatantly running from the Lord and taking matters into his own hands.

II.                  Ruth 1:3-5

Continuing, Elimelek dies, his son’s marry two Moabite women (one being RUTH), and then the sons also die.

The very thing Elimelek was trying to avoid- Death- He ends up getting and also brining upon his family.

*Usually when we run from the Lord, we end up running to the very thing we were trying to avoid!*

Jeremiah 17:5-6: This is what the Lord says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord. That person will be like a bush in the wastelands; they will not see prosperity when it comes. They will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.

Proverbs 19:21- Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

III.                Ruth 1:6-22: FAITH v. DOUBT

NAOMI= DOUBT

Can you imagine how Naomi must feel- She is left with no family! She must be broken, feeling completely alone:

Ruth 1:13- Naomi says “The Lord’s hand has turned against me!”

Ruth 1: 20-21- “Call me Mara- which means bitter “because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty.” “The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.”

Naomi see’s the Lord through her circumstances- EYES OF DOUBT/PAIN

       RUTH= FAITH

Although Naomi tells her daughter-in-law to return back to her family, Ruth chooses to go back to Bethlehem with Naomi.

Ruth 1: 16-17- But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”

Ruth has also lost everything- her husband is also dead and she has no prospects to begin another family with. But we see that Ruth chooses to trust the Lord. This is a true picture of faith- She doesn’t have a plan, she doesn’t have things figured out, but still she commits to follow and trust in the Lord’s plan without knowing what He has in store.  

Who do you relate to… which character does your life reflect?

                                                               i.      Elimelek- Do you run when times get tough? Do you decide to do things your own way and reject God?

                                                             ii.      Namomi- Do you become bitter when things don’t go your way. Do you see God through eyes of pain?

                                                            iii.      Ruth- Do you choose to “let go and let God take control.” Do you view the Lord with eyes of faith and trust that His ways are better than our own?

Isaiah 55:8-9: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. 

IV.                Connecting the Story

If you know how the story of Ruth ends, you know that Ruth goes to a foreign place with only one purpose: to Serve. She chooses to Trust in the Lord and serves Naomi out of love. Through her selflessness, the Lord provides her with 100times more than she had before. He provides her with a new husband who cares for she and Naomi and gives them much more than they would ever need. (You should read through chapters 2,3,and 4!)

The Point I don’t want you to miss is this: In the mist of your life, whatever you are battling- Dead end job, a frustrating circumstance, health issues, loneliness, or maybe just boredom…  Ask the lord to give you eyes of faith. Maybe God is working; maybe He is doing something that you are unable to see.

Habakkuk 1:5- “Look at the nations and watch and be utterly amazed.  For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.”

Gen. 28:16- “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it.”

Earlier I asked which character your life reflected. Personally, I can see a little bit of myself in all of these characters:

Growing up in a Christian home and attending Second Baptist my entire life, I too could have been given a name meaning “My God is King.” But like Elimelek, my “name” didn’t always match my character. I knew all the right things to say and do, but deep down I did not trust the Lord with my problems and decided to take matters into my own hands. A perfect example of this was in my decision to move to NY. About a year ago, I think the conflict in my life was boredom and fear- I was looking for happiness in all the wrong places- a job, relationship, friends… and several other “worldly things.” Anyways, I decided to go visit my cousin- who was interning in NY- for a weekend. While I was there, I formed this crazy idea in my head- “I think I could move here.” Granted, this wasn’t the first crazy idea I had come up with and never truly intended on following through until I returned home to hear that my company had been bought out and my job might be in jeopardy- Key word is MIGHT- there was still a very good chance my job would be fine but the fear of the unknown and the boredom I was feeling caused me to run from my issues and start somewhere new. I was so excited to start a new job and live in a new city- I was way too confident that things were going to be great and I was going to be so happy! Umm well that isn’t exactly what happened, it was quite the opposite as I had a really rough transition. I made my way to New York- as Emilek made his way to moab- about a month or so after arriving, I quit my job, it was starting to get cold, I had very few friends, and I was living in a windowless apartment.  Like Naomi, I was questioning the Lord, wondering why God had allowed everything I wanted to fall apart. 

Although I was bored back home, at least I was working to provide for myself, I had friends and family, and I had a window! Continuing with the story- After the holidays I decided (out of desperation) to cling to church- I met a girl named Jess at Apostles. I am not sure why but Jess made it her mission to keep me in New York as I was thinking of going home. She invited me to join her bible study, where I met the most amazing women. The first night I attended I remember sharing my story with them- “blah blah blah…. Like above- “and I think I have that disorder you get in Alaska when it is dark all the time! Haha.” (I’m sure they all thought I was mentally ill) but that day they prayed the Lord would provide a window in my life. (Job, friends… something that would encourage me) That week another girl in the study (Blythe) sent my resume to her recruiter who connected me to a hedge fund called H Partners- I went in for an interview and a few days later was offered a job. On my first day, they took me to my desk and the moment I sat down I began to cry… Not only had God provided me a window (a job & friends through my bible study) but he had provided a physical window.

The view from my desk (on the 29^th floor) was of central park. I could pretty much see all the way from the Hudson River to the East river! That was the day I buried myself and chose to put God in control of my life. I no longer wanted to be bitter Naomi- I wanted to have eyes o f faith like Ruth!  It was that day I discovered the power of prayer… the women in my study showed me that through loving others, trusting the lord, and praying together anything could be done! For the next 7-8 months I feel in love with my church and in a short time, quadrupled my number of friends… the relationships I formed while in NY were truly Christ centered. The Lord showed me what true fellowship- a real Christian community. He allowed me to run my own way (like Elimelek) and fall on my face (like Naomi) so that He could teach me/ show me how much more he had in store for my life- Give me eyes of faith! (Like Ruth)

About a month and a half ago, my old boss- in Houston- called me. He said there was an amazing opportunity with His new company and that the team really wanted me to join. The first time he called I hesitated to take the position; I didn’t want to leave my new NY family. During this period I was praying that the lord would shut the door if it was not where He wanted me… Working as an executive assistant, I had been asking the Lord to eventually eventually provide another opportunity, as this is not what I envisioned myself doing long term. However; when the opportunity in Houston continued to present itself I had to trust that the Lord would provide a community like the one I had found through Apostles.

I am daily asking God to give me eyes of faith- I am not the same girl that left last year, I have come back a new creation! The Lord has shown me that He is the “window” of my life. Like Ruth, I choose to trust Him! As I am beginning this new phase I have never been more confident that the Lord has a far better plan than my own!

I want to close with a favorite quote:  

"The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you. A person who lives by faith must proceed in incomplete evidence, trusting in advance what will only make since in reverse.” ~Phillip Yancey