Day 23: The Case For Faith

In the middle of the Holiday rush, I find myself making excuses for almost everything. “I will work out later,” “I will quit spending next month,” “I will organize my new apartment once I have everything I need moved in,” “I will start eating healthy tomorrow” or I have even said to myself- “I will figure out my life once things slow down.” What that makes no since… shouldn’t I slow down to figure out my life? But I think the worst excuses are the ones that end with “Later today.” I think make that excuse every day and then “Later today” turns into “tomorrow.” I am guilty of cutting personal time with Christ in order to do something else or get an extra 30 minutes of sleep. Every day that passes where I don’t spend time in the word, that “later today” excuse was always used. Truth is… I think it has been used the past 4 or 5 days… How does that happen??? What am I so busy doing? And I really don’t have much if anything to show for that lost time. To be honest, I have even caught myself using my subway ride to work as my “quiet time.” Ironic… The subway is never quiet… no matter what hour I am on it. If you are reading this, please pray that God not only helps me manage my time, but convicts me to prioritize time.

While I was home for Christmas, I began reading a new book: The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel. I have a friend who has recently questioned my beliefs. Not in an offensive way, but in a way that has forced me to answer questions like: “Why do I believe the things I do?” This individual is definitely a thinker. He wouldn’t want me to answer with any emotional reasoning, but with hard facts.  After spending some time with this person, I have been trying to come up with a perfect answer to this question. I know Jesus Christ is my savior and that He is the true Son of God, but why do I KNOW that? There are several individuals, especially in New York, that want proof. As I read through this new book, I hope to equip myself with the right words and scriptures to answer difficult questions.

The book starts with Objection 1: “Since Evil and Suffering Exist, A Loving God Cannot.”

Argument- “How can a human be sure that infinite wisdom would not tolerate certain evils in order for long-range good? Good that we cannot see.”

Towards the beginning of the chapter, there is an interview with Peter John Kreeft. Kreeft compares this issue to a bear trap. Imagine a bear trapped in such a device. The hunter for some reason begins to pity the bear and wants to liberate the animal. In order to do so, he must shoot the bear with drugs; however, the bear now thinks he is under attack and that the hunter is trying to harm him. The bear does not realize the hunter is trying to help. Then the hunter must push the animal even farther in the trap to release the tension of the springs. Now the bear is even more convinced that the hunter is not his friend. The bear reaches this conclusion because he is not human and he is not able to understand what the hunter is actually doing.

God does the same thing to us. We do not understand why God allows things to happen. Like the bear, we do not understand the “bigger picture.” We need to trust that the Lord has our best interest.

Scripture describes God as a hidden God. God gives us just enough evidence so that those who want to follow him can do so. The bible says: “Seek and you will find.” The bible is clear, only SOME will find Him!  

“But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.”  Deuteronomy 4:29

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

“But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life and only a few find it.” Matthew 7:14

I am really excited about beginning this book. I hope my writings will reach those who are struggling to find or give the right answers. Please continue to pray that I remain positive. I am loving New York and I am confident the Lord has placed me here for a reason, but I am still not sure of His “long-range” plan for my life…. Scary but so Exciting!

Day 22: Our Mission

Acts 20:24- But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God.

God created each of us for a ministry (to serve believers) but also for a specific mission: to serve non-believers. The Latin word of mission is “Sending.” Christ sends His children all around the world to be a representative for Him. It is interesting to look back and see where God has placed you through the years? What experiences He has allowed you to have. Looking back, I have come across several people who I randomly met; but to God, no encounter was random. It pains me to think about all the lives I could have influenced for Christ had I not been so selfish in my past. It says in scripture that God holds us responsible for the unbelievers who live around us.

Ezekiel 3:18- when I tell wicked people they will die because of their sins, you must warn them to turn from their sinful ways so they won't be punished. If you refuse, you are responsible for their death.

Wow! That is powerful, Christ holds me responsible for sharing! This means I need to be prepared and focused on telling others about him. Christ has allowed me to venture to New York for a reason, I a truly believe He has me here for a specific mission. However, I am constantly living with anxiety about the future. I have no idea if my current job is going to work out, who my close friends will be, or even who I will turn to in the event of an emergency? I have all these “what if” questions floating through my head. It is so hard in this city to get everything done, you can’t do it all and there is never enough free time. It is so easy to get wrapped up in my new apartment, career issues, meeting friends, or even finding my way around… I am constantly wasting time and the stressing about the little time that is left each day. I don’t want to lose focus on my purpose:

-To love God

-To be a part of His Family

-To become like Him

-To serve Him

-TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT HIM!

(Rick Warren- A Purpose Driven Life)

Jesus not only calls us to draw near to Him but he also tells us to “go for Him.” God has His own timing and often He tells us to wait patiently for Him to reveal his plan. We have to be ready and wait patiently. Right now I am feeling completely in Limbo, I left everything behind and now what? I am here Lord… What do you want me to do? Who do you want me to reach out to? I find myself growing more and more impatient. To be honest, I am scared I will grow too impatient and take the wheel in the wrong direction, take matters into my own hands. “Oh I think God allowed me to be in NY for……( fill in the blank)

I have been embarrassed to admit that I don’t know the fill in the blank yet? A random job got me up here, but that random job is not why I am here, nor is it keeping me here. God has something planned, whether it be for a different job down the road, a specific ministry/church, or even relationships. God knows where I will end up and how He wants to use me in that position.

Today, the next few weeks, I am going to make this my theme song:

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

~John Waller- While I’m Waiting

God has a specific mission/ purpose for each of his children. Unfortunately, He does not always spell it out for us over night. He wants us to trust in Him and have faith that His plan is better than our own & patiently wait. Put your hope and your trust in Him! 

Day 21:God’s Power is in Our Weaknesses

Our weaknesses are not an accident. God made each of us, flaws included, for a specific purpose. God loves to use imperfect, ordinary people to do extraordinary things.

Admit your weaknesses contently:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Our weaknesses force us to rely on God. When we have less, when we are weak, we must depend on the Lord for strength and comfort. The feeling of “weakness” is God’s reminder that we need Him. 

Our weaknesses also encourage fellowship among believers. Our limitations show just how much we need each other. Our greatest messages often come form our past experiences of weakness. God allows us to struggle so that we can help others who may be dealing with similar situations.

Honestly share your Weaknesses:

In order to impact others, we must become vulnerable. The more I let down my guard, the more God will be able to use me. In today’s culture, we are encouraged to hide our flaws; almost like we are expected to put on a mask when we leave our homes. However, this often leads to stress and anxiety. No one has it all together, Most people work harder at looking like they have it all together than actually trying to get their life together! If we were just honest with each other, then we might be able to help and encourage one another.

“Our strengths create competition, but our weaknesses create community!” ~Rick Warren

Right now I am definitely struggling. I am facing so many changes in my life & it is pretty overwhelming. I constantly find myself doubting and worrying about the future. Did I do the right thing? What if this doesn’t work out? I have to remember why I came to New York. Yes, I came in hopes to succeed in this career change, but I also came for a bigger reason. I want to make a difference. I want Christ to use me in others lives. I have spent the past 24 years worrying about Laura, and I no longer want to worry about myself. I want to be a light in this incredibly dark city. Right now my weakness is doubt. I keep doubting I will be able to influence others, doubting that God has a plan for my life, doubting that if I just trust him things will all work out. I have learned through this journey, that I like to be in control. I like to call the shots and when I allow someone else to take the lead, I worry it wont get done. This is something I have asked God to help me with. I am slowly learning that I cannot do it all. I have to rely on Him for strength & I cannot expect the answers to all appear over night. I need to wait on the Lord and trust that he has me in New York for a specific reason and He will reveal that to me as I follow Him!

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalms 27:14 

Day 20: A Servant Like Attitude

In my last entry, I talked about serving God through serving others. In Rick Warren’s book “A Purpose Drive Life,” He talks about characteristics of a servant. In order to serve others and live our lives for Christ, we have to have a servant attitude.

A real servant:

1)    Makes themselves available to serve

If you only serve when it is convenient to you, then you are not a true servant. We need to make ourselves more available and quit filling our schedule with irrelevant things. Can God mess up your plans without you becoming resentful? This is something I struggle with, as I am a big planner. I like to have an outline for pretty much everyday of my life. When something throws my schedule off I tend to get anxious or overwhelmed. In my mind 24 hours in a day isn’t enough. But when I stop to think about how much time is wasted watching TV, surfing the internet, worrying, planning, shopping, or over committing, I realize too much of my day is given to meaningless activities. I have gotten better about this, as it has been a constant prayer.

A few months ago, I asked the Lord to eliminate some things from my schedule and stop stressing over time. The Lord has been so gracious and completely changed my day-to-day life. He actually sent me to New York City, funny that New York is one of the “busiest” places in the world, but I have been able to spend quite a bit of time alone. However, I am still working on lowering my stress level. I have nothing to stress about, when I give it to Him things automatically seem to slow down.  

But Satan really knows my weakness, just the other day I found myself walking in my apartment at 10:30pm thinking where did the day go? There was so much I was suppose to do today….OMG! And reading my last blog entry this morning made me realize, I have gotten no where on my attempts to get plugged into serving. I cannot use the Holiday’s as an excuse, but I have not even submitted an entry in over a week! Why is it so hard for us to just sit and be still? Why are we always on the go? If we would just be calm for a little bit, we would see so many opportunities to serve.

2)   Pays attention to needs

Galatians 6:10- Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Proverbs 3:28- Do not say to your neighbor, “Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you”— when you already have it with you.

As a Christian, we are instructed to put others before ourselves. Once we have toned down our schedule and let go of that stress we have been holding on to, we will be able to recognize the needs of others. Many times we hold on to something so minor and miss something MAJOR that our friend is dealing with. I wonder how my life would be different if every time I started to worry or stress about my own problem, I decided to call a friend and ask how they are doing? If I wasn’t always so consumed with my own matters, maybe I would realize how much God has blessed me and that I should be using my energy encouraging a friend rather than beating myself up for something small.

*This week I am going to try this. Every time a negative thought/worry pops in my head, I am going to call a friend and ask how I can be praying for them. God knows my fears and concerns, If I have given those to Him, there is nothing more I can do but trust that He will work it out.

3)   Does their best with what they have

Some churches/ organizations put “excellence” on a pedestal, which makes the “average” person hesitant to get involved. But the truth is, we do almost everything poorly the first go around, that’s how we learn!

This should be recognized in all our activities, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up when we make mistakes initially. God did not make us to be perfect! He calls us to do our best and many times our best is not “perfect.”

I have been struggling with this issue this week. I recently started a new job in NY and this week I have felt like a failure. I was thrown into a very busy season (the holidays) and with the limited time to get everything ready, I felt pressure to get the job done.  Because I am new and trying to learn everything, there were some mistakes made. One of my biggest struggles is paying attention to detail when under a time crunch (or under pressure). I pride myself on reliability. If I promise to have something done, or if I am asked to do something by a specific time, It will be done. I do not like it when things are late or incomplete. Thus, I like to start things early so I will have enough time to do it all and not feel stretched for time. But in the real world this is not the case, so often we are battling the clock. I need to recognize that although I may complete an assignment, it is not complete if there are mistakes. Providing something with errors, is the same as turning it in incomplete! As I learn and gain more experience, I will be able to do things more quickly and correctly. I need to stop giving myself a hard time and learn to slow down. I do not have to be perfect right now and I should not be expected to know everything. “One day at a time…. Rome was not built in a day!”

4)   Does every task with equal dedication

Colossians 3:23- Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.

The size of the task shouldn’t matter. You will never reach a point in life where you are too important to help others.

Galatians 6:3- If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. 4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, 5 for each one should carry their own load. 6 Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.

Small tasks reveal a BIG heart! “The race to be a leader is crowded, but the field is wide open for those willing to be servants.” ~Rick Warren

5)   Faithful to their ministry

What is faithful? The dictionary states that it is:

a.    strict or thorough in the performance of duty: a faithful worker.

b.    true to one's word, promises, vows, etc.

c.    reliable, trusted, or believed.

In this day and age, commitments are so easily broken. So often we find ourselves improvising because someone bailed. I often wonder if this lack of commitment began with the increase of technology? Think about it, if I committed to having lunch with a friend today, but then a better offer comes my way, all I have to do is text that friend: “hey something came up, rain check?” I just broke a commitment in a matter of seconds! What if I didn’t have a cell phone or email? How would I tell my friend I wanted a rain check? Well I guess I would just be a no show? So I then broke my word and that friend would probably never trust me to meet them again. I think this is why our word means so little these days, because we can take it back without any hesitation or repercussions. Today it would be no big deal to reschedule a lunch, but before technology it was a bit trickier… You were required to stick to the plan!

We need to commit to our promises and stop flaking! I am speaking to myself on this one too. I have become very comfortable in “rescheduling” or changing the plan, but I want to be someone others can count on!
6. Maintains a low profile

Matthew 6: 1- “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.”

Ok, I think this may be what I struggle with most! So God wants me to joyfully serve others and expect NOTHING (not even appreciation) in return! Yup, that’s correct! I am not a true servant if I am expecting to be praised for my good deeds.

Galatians 1:10- Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

I should serve others because I want to serve the Lord. But if I am serving others to please men, then I am no servant of the Lord! I need to be content with quietly serving in the shadows. Even if no one recognizes me, Christ knows my heart and He recognizes my service.

“Notoriety means nothing to real servants because they know the difference between prominence and significance. The most significant service is often the service that is unseen.” ~ Rick Warren